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Tuesday 27th July 2004. Craving Blood !


Just come back from ward 36 where I had my monthly drip of pamidromate, which is a very benign drug. They checked my blood and it’s rather low again, so I am having another blood transfusion tomorrow. Can’t wait! Now I know how vampires feel. I really want some more energy. I have been invited to speak at a writer’s conference in Mauritius, with the poet Sean O Brien. We are both able to take our partners, and in the second week of the visit we can just be on holiday. I’ve been to Mauritius before and it’s very idyllic, but much more than a tourist resort. It’s a very passionate, political place. I am so pleased to be able to return. Before then I am spending a week in AJP Taylor’s old Mill in the Isle of Wight, lying on the squashy sofa by the window watching children crabbing in the River Yar. It’s always the same in the IOW. That’s why I like going there. I can see my father who lives there, and we both celebrate our birthdays in August. There are many parties, carnivals and late night sing songs. A lot of pasta gets consumed.

I knew my blood was thinning. I felt as if I hardly had the energy to unscrew the lid off a marmalade pot. I got rather grumpy too. I kept on having odd dreams….I dreamt I was taking a GCSE in IDEALISM but that I hadn’t done any work. I also keep on having wierd waking dreams, when I wake up and find oddly shaped animals on my bed, but then I realise I am dreaming.

I am just about to have a meeting about an anthology of poems to use in a health setting that we are going to publish with Bloodaxe. We’ve chosen lots of good ones, but if anyone reading this wants to send me any others please do.

Will write more of this later.